My Immortal Starman
by Alienton
Summary: Princess Peach finds herself in a strange parody of the infamous My Immortal fanfic.
1. Chapters 1 through 5

Chapter 1.

Hi my name is Peach Toadstool and I have long blond hair with slight curls and a pretty crown at the top of my head and big blue eyes like a cartoon and a lot of people tell me I look like Princess Daisy (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Waluigi but I wish I was because he's a major flowering cutie. I'm a princess but not snooty or stuck-up. I have warm white skin. I'm also a human, and I live in a magical place called the Mushroom Kingdom where I'm the ruler. I'm a princess (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly pink. I love Bridal Warehouse and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a pink dress with matching lace around it and long white gloves, blue earings and pink heels. I was wearing pink lipstick and a cute jewled crown. I was walking outside my caslte. It was a bright, shiny day, which I was very happy about. A lot of Toads waved at me. I smiled at them.

"Hey Peach!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was… Mario!

"What's up Mario?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

But then, I heard Toadsworth call me and I had to go away.

The next day I woke up in my royal chamber. It was sunny again. I opened the shades of my four-poster bed and drank some Super Soda from a bottle I had. My bed was pink and inside it was hot pink velvet with yellow lace on the ends. I got out of my bed and took of my giant night gown which I slept in. Instead, I put on a pretty pink dress identicle to the one from yesterday, a pretty jewled crown, pink heels and white gloves on. I put on one pair of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of well-groomed bun.

My friend, Daisy woke up then and smiled happily at me. She flipped her short neck-length goomba brown hair and opened her big blur eyes. She put on her yellow-orange dress, flower earings, and short white gloves. We put on our makeup (pink lipstick.)

"Hi I'm Daisy!" she said excitedly.

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Mario?" she asked as we went out of the Slumber party room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so flowering don't!" I wimpered.

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Mario walked up to me.

"It's a me, Mario" he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, The Flaming Koopas are having a concert in world 4." he told me.

"Oh. My. Flowering. God!" I screamed. I love TFK. They are my favorite artist, besides Koji Kondo.

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

Chapter 3.

On the night of the concert I put on my pink heels. Underneath them were white stockings. Then I put on a pink dress exactly like the one before. I put long white gloves on my arms. I tied my hair into a ponytail, like I do when playing tennis. I felt very happy then, so I baked a cake. I read a cook book while I waited for it to finish cooking and I listened to some Koji Kondo. I painted my nails pink and put on a very reasonable amount of of makeup. I didn't put on more makeup than necessary because that would be silly. I drank some tea so I was ready to go to the concert.

I went outside. Mario was waiting there in front of his Yoshi. He was wearing a Miyamoto t-shirt (he would be at the show too), blue overalls, and a red hat with an M.(AN: A lot fo kewl plumbers wer it ok!).

"Hi Mario!" I said in a ladylike voice.

"Hi Peach." he said back. We walked to his flying blue Yoshi and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to the Super Mario Galaxy soundtrack. We both snacked on 1-up mushrooms and fire flowers. When we got there, we both hopped off the Yoshi. We went to the are at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to The Flaming Koopas.

"Waluigi is so flowering cute." I said to Mario, pointing to him as he sung, filling the venue with his unusual voice.

Suddenly Mario looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we bopped to the music. Then I caught on.

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Mario sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Waluigi and he's going out with Wendy flowering Koopa. I dont care much for her!" I said disapproving, thinking of her spiky shell and tacky pink-polka-dotted bow.

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Mario. After the concert, we ate some mushrooms and asked Wario and Waluigi for their autographs and photos with them. We got TFK concert tees. Mario and I crawled back onto the Yoshi, but Mario didn't go back to my Caslte, instead he drove the car into… the Spooky Forest!

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok Peach's name is PACHE nut mary su OK! Mario IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent! dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

"Mario!" I shouted. "What the flower do you think you are doing?"

Mario didn't answer but he stopped the Yoshi and he hopped off of it. I hopped off of it too, curiously.

"What the flowering lavaworld?" I asked angrily.

"Peach?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

Mario leaned in extra-close and I looked into his rugged mustache which revealed so much selfless compassion and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

And then… suddenly just as I Mario kissed me passionately. Mario climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree with cute dot eyes. He took of my crown and I took of his hat. I even took of my gloves. Then he put his mushroom into my question-mark-block and we did that for the first time.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to lose at Scrabble, which we had brought with us. We started to drop wooden letters everywhere and my body didn't change in any way. And then….

"WHAT THE LAVALAND ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFLOWERERS!"

It was….Toadsworth!

Chapter 5.

Toadsworth made and Mario and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

I started to cry tears of water down my adorable face. Mario comforted me. When we went back to the castle Toadsworth took us to Toad and Toadette who were both looking very angry.

"They were playing Scrabble in the Spooky Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Toad.

"How dare you?" demanded Toadette.

And then Mario shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

Everyone was quiet. Toadsworth and Toad still looked mad but Toadette said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

Mario and I went upstairs while the anthropomorphic mushrooms glared at us.

"Are you okay, Peach?" Mario asked me gently.

"Yeah I guess." I lied. I went to the princess's chamber and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a pink dress exactly like the last one with yellow lace all around it and pink high heels. When I came out….

Mario was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'Swing your arms from side to side'. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.


	2. Chapters 6 through 10

Chapter 6.

AN: shjt up Sony fanboys ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

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The next day I woke up in my bed. I put on a pink dress like the one before that was all in good condition and not ripped and pink shoes that were pink. I put on one pair of blue earrings, and nothing else. I didn't spray-paint my hair with purple cause that would be weird.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Bob-omb-o's cereal with milk instead of blood, and a glass of orange colored orange juice. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the milk spilled over my dress.

Eeek! I shouted startled. I was embaressed saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the long mustached face of a tall man with smooth black hair. He was wearing blue overalls, a green shirt, and a green hat with an "L" on it. He didn t have glasses and wasn't wearing contacts and didn't have any scars. He had a manly mustache on his upper lip. He had a goofy Italian accent. He was so cute that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like eating a fire flower only I m a helpless damsel in distress so I don t use them you sicko.

I m so sorry. he said in a shy voice.

That s all right. What s your name? I questioned.

My name s Luigi, although most people call me Greeny these days. he grumbled.

Why? I exclaimed.

Because I wear green. he giggled.

Well, I like pink. I confessed.

Really? he whimpered.

Yeah. I roared.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Mario came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.

Chapter 7. Bring me a 1-up

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws. n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons! STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Piach isn t a Marie Sue ok she isn t perfect SHES A PRANCESS! n she has problemz shes alwaiz gettin catchud bi Bowsah 4 godz sake!

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Mario and I held our lively warm hands with gloves as we went upstairs. I was wearing yellow smile faces on my nails in yellow nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?). I waved to Greeny. Happy excitement was in his blue eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Mario. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Mario. We went into his room and locked the door. Then

We started smooching passively and we took off each others gloves enthusiastically. I took of my crown. Then I took off my blue earings and he took off his shoes. We went on the bed and bouncing up and down and then he synced his Wiimote with my Wii and we PLAYED MARIO PARTY. (c is dat stupid?)

Oh Mario, Mario! I screamed while losing at a minigame when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Mario s arm. It was a yellow star with cute dot eyes. On it in cute writing were the words Mario and Luigi Forever!

I was so angry.

You two-timer! I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

No! No! But you don t understand! Mario pleaded. But I knew too much.

No, you flowering dummy! I shouted. You probably have the Blorbs anyway!

I turned off my Wii huffily and then stomped out. Mario ran out even though his Wiimote was still on. He had a really big Wiimote (it must have been a third-party Nyco or Madcatz) but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Greeny s house where he was having tea with Daisy, Birdo, Yoshi, and some other people.

Greeny Luigi, YOU MOTHERFLOWERER! I yelled.

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok! if u do den u r a micro$oft fanboy!

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Everyone in the class stared at me and then Mario came into the room even though he was holding his wiimote and started begging me to take him back.

Peach, it s not what you think! Mario screamed sadly.

My friend Rosalina smiled at me understatedly. She flipped her neck-length blond hair and opened her blue eyes like water that she was wearing no contact lenses on. She had a pearly white dress that she was wearing. She was orphaned as a child. She was raised by lumas. She has struggled to get over the death of her brother and parents (this is canon, actually). It also turns out she doesn't have a last name cause she's a mario character and they rarely have last names. (Since she is a mario character she does not have a religion. )

What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit! Toad demeaned angrily in his shrill voice but I ignored him.

Greeny, I can t believe you cheated on me with Mario! I shouted at him.

Everyone gasped.

Random POV change time!

I don t know why Peach was so mad at me. Greeny was my BROTHER for life and we got those tattoos cause we're best buds. We're brothers, not lovers. He had gone through many adventures (though not as many as me), and now he often felt like a second banana.

Mario is my BROTHER you insuferable ass of a princess! said Greeny.

Yeah flowering right! flower off, you jerk! I screamed. I ran out of the room and into the Spooky Forest where I had lost my Scrabble pieces to Mario and then I started to bust into tears.

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn ply all da gamez! dis is frum da supa maria broz movie ok so itz nut my folt if todsworth swers! besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE! and da reson toad dosent lik luigi now is coz he nevar rescoes him and greeny is a herou! KOGI CONDO ROX!

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I was so mad and sad. I couldn t believe Mario for cheating on me. I began to cry against the tree where I played Scrabble with Mario.

Then all of a suddenly, an horrible koopa with red eyes and a big nose and everything started flying towards me in a clown copter! He had a big nose (basically like Boswer in da Papar Marzio) and he was wearing all a green shell but it was obvious he wasn t nice. It was Bowser!

No! I shouted in a scared voice but then Bowser shouted Roar! and I couldn t run away cuz I was scared.

Hotel Mario! I shouted at him. Bowser fell out of his copter and started to scream. I felt bad for him cause though I m a very ladylike princess so I stopped.

Peach. he yelled. Thou must kill Luigi!

I thought about Greeny and his sexah eyes and his smooth black hair and how his face looks just like a cartoon. I remembered that Mario had said I didn t understand, so I thought, what if Mario and Luigi were brothers?

No, Bowser! I shouted back.

Bowser gave me a cannon and some bullet bills. No! Please! I begged.

Thou must! he yelled. If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Mario!

How did you know? I asked in a surprised way.

Bowser got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. I hath the star rod. he answered cruelly. And if you doth not kill Greeny, then thou know what will happen to Mario! he shouted. Then he flew away angrily in his copter.

I was so scared and mad I didn t know what to do. Suddenly Mario came into the woods.

Mario! I said. Hi!

Hi. he said back but his face was all sad. He was wearing a red shirt and blue overalls like he always does.

Are you okay? I asked.

No. he answered.

I m sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me. I expelled.

That s okay. he said all cheerful and we went back into the castle together jumping up and down to try and find invisible blocks.

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u N-Gage fanboys if u donot lik ma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out rosalyna isn t a luma afert al n she n luygi r goud jumpars datz y dey jumpd ovar houses ok!

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I was really scared about Broser all day. I was even upset went to rehearsals with my classical orchestra band PEach and the Roses 333. I am the lead singer of it and I play violin. People say that we sound like a cross between Koji Kondo, Super Mario Galaxy Orchestra and The Flaming Koopas. The other people in the band are Rosalina, Greeny, Mario, Birdette (although we call her Birdo now. She had a gender change operation to become a boy.) and Donkey Kong. Only today Mario and Greeny were off having adventures so they weren t coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Mario was probably cooking spaghetti (he wouldn t make it very tasty because he was an awful cook (I hope he doesn't read this!)) and Greeny was probably exploring a spooky haunted house sucking up ghosts with a vaccuum. I put on a modest pink dress exactly like the one before and a cute matching crown. You might not think I m a slut and you would be right because I'm very ladylike and a virgin because this is an E-rated franchise.

We were singing a lyricized cover of the Ending Theme of Super Mario 64 and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

Peach! Are you OK? Rosalina asked in a concerted voice.

What the flower do you think? I asked angrily. And then I said. Well, Bowser came and the flowering jerk told me to flowering kill Luigi! But I don t want to kill him, because, he s really nice, even if is Mario's brother. But if I don t kill Luigi, then Bowser, will flowering kill Mario! I burst into tears.  
Suddenly Mario jumped out from behind a wall.

Why didn t you flowering tell me! he shouted. How could you- you- you flowering poser princess snob!

I started to cry and cry. Mario started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying. (c is dat out of character?)

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Toadsworth walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn t cause he had a headache.

What have you done! He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y) Peach Mario has been found in his room. He baked a really nasty cake!


End file.
